If there’s any advice you could give to your younger self, what would it be and why?

The Advice I’d Give My Younger Self (That Might Just Shock You)

Here’s the truth: I wish I’d stopped trying to please everyone way sooner.

I know—coming from someone who’s always been the reliable one, the kind friend, the empathetic ear—it might surprise people. But being a lifelong people pleaser cost me more than I care to admit. It drained my energy, blurred my boundaries, and delayed me from discovering who I really was.

As an empath, I’ve always been tuned into how others feel. If someone around me was upset, I took it on. If something needed to be done, I said yes—even when I didn’t want to. I thought that being agreeable made me easy to love. What I didn’t realise was how often it came at the cost of my own joy.

Looking back on my most formative years, I wish I’d had the courage to rock the boat more. To say, “Actually, this isn’t for me.” I wish I’d rebelled—just a little. But I followed the script. I picked a degree to please my dad. I made safe choices because they made others comfortable. And for a long time, I didn’t question it.

That all changed after my second maternity leave. For the first time, I said no—to going back to the job that no longer lit me up. It felt terrifying. Rebellious. Unfamiliar. Like using a muscle I’d never flexed before. And yes, it brought friction. Disappointment. Unsolicited opinions. But something inside me knew it was the right call.

Since then, I’ve become fiercely intentional with my time and energy. My calendar gets audited like a high-stakes budget. I say no without guilt. I know who gets my automatic yes—and what’s a firm non-negotiable. Family, close friends, self-care, and work (in that order). Everything else? It depends.

The biggest shift? I stopped living life on someone else’s terms.

And that’s exactly what I want for my kids. I encourage disagreement. I want them to feel safe asking questions, drawing their own lines, figuring out what lights them up and what doesn't. They don’t have to be mini-versions of me or anyone else. They’re already whole.

If I could whisper one thing to my younger self, it would be this:
You don’t need to be liked by everyone. You need to like yourself.

And trust me—there’s nothing rebellious about putting yourself first. It’s necessary.

With love,
June